How to speak about women and being politically correct

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLYAPPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED..

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a very *friendly* person - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO BIT sleeper - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

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And now for the men...
How to speak about men and being politically correct

He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL a*s - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

Ya, those are good

I remember them from the last forum =)

Tim

Yep, dug into old joke archive...for the new members who haven't heard them.

P.S. Sorry, about the caps. I used them for emphasis, not to yell.